MY FOREVER <3

i saw the love of my life last night!! we have known each other for 3 years but been together for 2 years now but sadly we are not together anymore and he has a new girlfriend. but he still lets me know that i am his NUMBER 1 and no other girl will ever take his place. we have been thru ups and downs for the past 2 years and it made us both know that in the end we still love each other and as much harm we do to our hearts we will always wind back together. i question him and wonder why he is with his current girlfriend.. i mean she has 2 kids and they are not even his.. when he has someone (me) with no kids whose going to school and has her shit together!!! but thats his choice. i don't think its a competition between me and her because i know what i have and i don't hate on other females..because everyone is different..

while we were together we reminisced about the good and bad times and talked about how we can fix our relationship because theres a few dents in it, that needs work! lol..he made me cry cause he was just telling me things that i really needed to hear from him in person rather than on the phone.. i mean what can i say my little 18 yr old heart is in love well at least i think so..

in the end i don't want anyone else but him my friends think im crazy for still being in love with him, but others just don't know him the way i do. he makes me feel so good about myself and ilove feeling good! i told him one day we will be together again but we just need our separate ways but know that we can always count on each other.

even tho he has a girlfriend it hurts deeply because i don't want him to be with anyone besides me. and i know deep down inside his heart he doesn't want me with anyone besides him but he leaves me no choice.. i mean if he really wants to make this relationship work then he will leave his girlfriend and make it happen with me and just pick up where we left off from.

there have been a few guys that caught my eye, but yet im not going to allow my heart to open up to anyone else besides him.

my friends and mom says i should move on and find someone better.. well as of right now i don't want to move on i LOVE HIM TOO DAMN MUCH!

in the end i will realize whats right and whats wrong but as of now but heart remains with him...

"Broken-Hearted Girl"
Beyonce Knowles

You're everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could have been
But still, you live inside of me, so tell me how is that?
You're the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you're the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
'Cause I can't erase
The times that you hurt me and put tears on my face
And even now, while I hate you, it pains me to say
I know I'll be there at the end of the day

I don't wanna be without you, babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you, babe
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl

There's something that I feel I need to say
But up til' now I've always been afraid that you would never come around
And still I wanna put this out

You say you've got the most respect for me
But, sometimes I feel you're not deserving of me
And still, you're in my heart
But you're the only one
And yes, there are times when I hate you, but I don't complain
'Cause I've been afraid that you would walk away
Oh, but now I don't hate you
I'm happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don't wanna be without you, babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you, babe
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl

Now I'm at a place I thought I'd never be, ooh
I'm living in a world that's all about you and me, yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid, my broken heart is free to spread my wings and fly away, away with you....

I don't wanna be without my baby
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without my baby
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl

memories<3

im very glad that i got to see my favorite Dominican chick Rosa.. in such limited time spent it felt like it was days. i missed her a whole lot and we caught up on a lot of things while we both went out separate ways.

she has her license now and her own car and has her head on right and im very proud of the way she is growing up..lol i feel like a mother! ahhhh i cant wait to come back home in 2 weeks even though my time in nj will be spent very shortly because i am going to Tx for the christmas vacation.

o well i will try my best to catch up with my friends before i dipp off....

later dayz

GOOD OLE' TIMES

IT WAS GOOD SEEING MY "SISTERS AGAIN ON WED. NIGHT. I WENT TO MY FRIEND MARIES HOSUE WITH MY BEST FRIEND JESSICA BECAUSE I WANTED TO SURPRISE MY OTHER FRIENDS. AND YES INDEED THEY WERE SURPRISE! WE ENJOYED THE NIGHT BY TALKING ABOUT OLD MEMORIES AND REMINISCING ABOUT GOOD OLE TIMES BEFORE I LEFT AND WHAT EVERYBODY IS DOING NOWADAYS!

MY THANKS GIVING

I HAD THE BEST THANKS GIVING EVER!!!!!!!! I WENT TO MY AUNTY AND UNCLES HOUSE AND HAD THE BEST FOOD EVER TRiNiDADiAN STYLE!!! I SAW ALL MY COUSINS AND THEIR FRIENDS AND IT WAS AMANZING. I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE SO EARLY BUT MY MOM AND BROTHERS HAVE TO WORK TOM. MORNING UNFORTUNATELY!! :( BUT WHILE BEING THERE IT WAS GREAT SEEING THE FAM AGAIN!

JERSEY ii LOVEEEEE Y0UU

U OF MARYLAND [COLLEGE PARK

3 OF MY FRIENDS AND I WENT TO THE U OF MARYLAND [COLLEGE PARK] LAST NiGHT AND I WAS IN SHOCK WHEN I SEEN HOW BEAUTIFUL AND HUGE THE CAMPUS WAS. HONESTLY I DON'T THINK IVE SEEN SUCH A PRETTY CAMPUS IN MY LIFE LIKE I DID LAST NIGHT. AS ME AND & MY FRIEND WALKED INTO THE DORM THE RA DIDNT EVEN ASK FOR ID OR HASSLE US FOR AN ID LIKE THEY DO AT MORGAN, WHICH WAS A BAD THING BECAUSE SECURITY IS A MUST BUT THEY WERE SO CALM AND HAPPY, WHILE BACK AT MORGAN THEY ARE SO RUDE AND OBNOXIOUS! ALSO THE DORMS ARE CO-ED.. NOW U KNOW THAT AINT NEVA HAPPENIN' AT MORGAN LOL IN A LIFETIME!!. THEN WE WENT TO TO THE COURTYARD WHERE A FRIEND WAS HAVING A B-DAY PARTY AND THE APARTMENTS ARE WAY MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN MORGAN VIEW'S APARTMENTS.. LOL DAMN SHAME.. BUT BESIDES THAT THE SCHOOL IS HUMUNGOUS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY EVERYONE IS ALWAYS HAPPY.. I GUESS THOSE ARE THE BENEFITS OF GOING TO A DIVERSE SCHOOL! HONESTLY I WOULDN'T MIND GOING TO THAT SCHOO, BECAUSE I AM ALREADY USED TO DIVERSITY. MY WHOLE LIFE I HAVE BEEN AROUND MANY DIFFERNT CULTURES WHICH IS A VERY GOOD THING RATHER THAN SURROUNDING MYSELF WITH JUST ONE RACE.

AHHHHH IM POSSIBLY THINKIN ABOUT TRANSFERRIN. IM GETTING REALLY FED UP WITH PEOPLE AT THIS DAMN SCHOOL!

THANKS GiViNG iS COMiNG!

YAY!!! ii CAN'T TO LEAVE ON TUESDAY TO SEE MY FAMiLY!!!! i AM iMAGiNiNG RiGHT NOW THE WONDERFUL TASTE OF THE FOOD THAT WiLL BE COOKED AT MY AUNTiE'S H0USE!!! AHH i MiSS EVERYB0DY S0 MUCH ESPECiALLY MY M0MMY!!! i L0VE HER S0 MUCH AND i KN0W SHE MiSSES ME DAY BY DAY SiNCE i AM AWAY AT SCHO0L. bUT iLL BE BY HER SiDE iN JUST 2 DAYSSSS!! AHH i GOTT CHECK THE TiMES FOR THE BUSES!! DEUCES

Jessica (my best friend)

i really miss my bestie from back home Jessica. We've been best friends since the 8th grade and have not been apart even till now. We've had our ups and downs but in the end we get over it and laugh it off. she is like a sister to me, i can confide in her and she gives the best advice. going away to college made me a bit sad, but i wanted to get away from not only her but from everyone and start on my own. by going away our friendship hasn't change in my opinion. when i go back home on the weekends we always find time to meet up with eachother. so its that bad even tho i am away at college. i wish the best for my best friend, because she is going through some things that i don't even know i can help her with, but she can always count on me!



and another 0ne

HAPPY BiRTHDAY!!

well.... November 15 today is my roomie's, my brother and my uncle's birthday!!!! yayayayaya i had to call em all to wish a wonderful birthday lol.

My beautiful niece and i spoke today and it was a blessing her voice! i miss her so muchhh && my chunky nephew!!. she is my heartttt<3.. I can't wait to vist my brother and his family for christmas and also see my bestfriend, Amanda!!!

i HATE the RAiN! LOL its pointless, well except for plants/flowers!

im super bored in my room and im waiting for my father's wife to come and get me so i can wash my clothes! My roomie left for the weekend to celebrate her b-day! im happy for her because i know how it feels to miss friends and family back at home!

HAPPY BiRTHDAY RAiSSA!!

i can't sleep. alot of thoughts are running through my mind. i don't know what's wrong, but whatever it is, it has been bothering me for a very long time and its hurting me emotionally and physically.

sometimes i feel like i do not belong at this place. (morgan). its a feeling that has always come and go very often.

i hope the feeling goes away because its getting to the point where i want to go back to Jersey and attend college out there.

just a lil thought. and the club was wack last night that made my night even more upsetting...

heyyyy guys sorry i took so long to keep you posted on my life. well as far as everthing goes i could not be the most happiest person in the world just for the simple fact that Mr. Barack Obama is our president!!!! I voted on November 4th for the first time and it was the best experience ever, im so proud to have taken part of the most important election in the world! i can't wait to tell my future children and my grandchildren. i truly look up to Mr. and Mrs. Obama they are just an inspiration to many people in this world, not only African Americans but to many cultures. ill be back to write more, taking a nap before i start my paper. lol